imy

i miss you and i know you can’t come back or anything but I guess ill always have hope for it because like idk i just want the love of my life back??? why does it feel so awful to want you back. And it’s probably pathetic at this point because it doesn’t just look like im begging, i genuinely am begging. Everything reminds me of you in one way or another and it’s like of course it does bc you were my everything. We had so many plans i mean my whole future was to be with you and maybe it’s unhealthy but that’s all i needed in my life. i hate to make it about me I really do i know you’re suffering baby and im sorry to add onto it. it only hurts so much bc i love you. I don’t even know what to say anymore

like what about our aquarium date or going to nyc or Switzerland or anywhere, what about laying in bed together while we read (or you read and i watch/play something), what about me bringing you a tea every evening. What about sharing pastries together? Why is it all gone, i miss you i miss you i miss you im fighting so hard to stay calm and not do anything to myself i miss you

i might have told u this once before but my biggest fear was finally being happy and it being taken away from me and i think god is laughing at me now and made that happen. well whatever this is m life. but if there’s anything I want to get through to you, none of this is your fault. please don’t blame yourself for any of it. You’re the closest thing to an angel this world has. i love you