incoherent thoughts (2)

it seems like trump won the election, so idk what that means for me. but it can’t really be good. i went to the doctor about a year ago to tell them that im transgender in hopes to get my medicine from them instead of online but, now it seems like a bad idea. it’s funny because I haven’t even been taking them, I’ve been too depressed. idk what will happen, maybe nothing. i genuinely wish i could be a woman, but i don’t think i can be accepted as such in this world. i know to you i was one, and you made me feel like one, and i was looking forward to being your girl. but you’re gone now and no one is going to see me the way i want to be seen, not anyone that will exist in my future anyhow. i told my mom a while back and she was disgusted and ever since then she asks me to cut my hair and my nails and that i shouldn't paint them or backhanded remarks like i neee to be a man. i think it’s time for me to give in, if I can’t give up on life then i have to make it easier on myself and give up on the life i want. im not sure yet im just tired of everything